I’m feeling overwhelmed. My hope is that if I write about why I’m feeling this way I will either feel some control over it or I’ll wise up and change something! It remains to be seen.
This school year is hard. It’s hard for educators everywhere, I think. Our team is having an extra tough year. We have eight classroom teachers and three of them have left this year. The reasons are all different and I don’t judge any of them for the choices they’ve made. But we lost one teacher who had been in the classroom for more than a decade and two teachers who’d been teaching for more than five years. We’ve been exceptionally lucky and able to replace all three of them. So our team had two new teachers (one with more than five years of teaching experience and one a first year teacher) start in January. Another, who has taught one year previously, just started yesterday. It’s tough to start mid-year and the rest of us have tried to do all we can to support them.
Our reading teacher had a baby last week (super exciting!). As a result, I’m leading the literacy meetings for our team every week. Which includes planning for them and facilitating them.
This is all in addition to how challenging this year is. I am tired after all of the changes, stresses, and needs to continually adapt that have happened for the past two years. (And came on the heels of me being on admin leave for nearly two months.) The kids are dealing with a lot and they don’t even know it because they’re young. They need a lot of patience, support, and encouragement. All of which are in short supply from me because I’m so worn down. So every day I end up more exhausted and feeling like I failed the children in my care.
And that’s all for my day job. In addition, I am currently co-authoring a book, teaching one section of a children’s literature course at a local college, serving on the boards of two educational organizations and the board of one parent theater organization, and parenting two teenagers. All of which are choices I made and I recognize that. I will roll off one of those boards this summer (and possibly the parent one). The book should be finished by summer as well. Summer just feels like a very long way away.