This has been months (maybe years, when I really think it through) in coming, but it is still hard for me to believe. I talked tonight with my editor (!) to create a plan and begin setting deadlines for a book I am writing. I am! Writing! A book!
If I keep saying it enough maybe I’ll actually believe it. Maybe.
I’ve drafted a detailed table of contents and written and revised one chapter before getting the contract. That was all quite a new experience but didn’t prepare me for the idea that I’m really going to do this.
That’ll be me a lot in the next year or so. At least I hope it will be. Because, alternatively, it could be this:
That is what I fear.
In tonight’s conversation my editor (seriously!?!) wrapped up by pointing out to me that all writers (or at least nearly all) face impostor syndrome at some point. She took care to remind me of my more-than-two decades of teaching, the hundreds of kids I’ve taught, and my level of expertise. I told her I should have recorded that little speech for all the times I’ll need it in the future. She suggested I put a post-it note on my monitor that says, “My editor says I’m an expert.” We’ll see…
The book will be about teaching discussion skills to elementary students, the various skills they need to engage in meaningful conversations together and how to help them develop those. It’s something I’ve done a lot of thinking about and collaborating with others on in the past several years and it is something I love. So I’m excited.
And mildly (at a minimum) terrified. But I firmly believe I need to be a little bit terrified to be growing and learning. So here I go.