Another Cultural Bias

I’m sure there are many times when I am completely unaware of how my own biases impact things I do and say. I’m sure there are many times when I am completely unaware of my own biases in general.

This school year, however, one bias is glaring me in the face. I have two kiddos whose mothers are only peripherally in their lives. (I don’t know either of these mothers so what I know about them is second hand. Based on that, it’s quite possible these kiddos are better off without their mothers closely involved in their lives.)

Out of my twenty students, I know that three of my students (maybe five, I’m not certain) have fathers who are, at best, peripherally involved in their lives.

I am highly judgmental of those two mothers who are not involved in their children’s lives. Highly. I can’t possibly understand how they make choices that take them away from their children or that push their children away from them. I don’t understand it at all.

I don’t feel the same way about those fathers. I barely think about them. When I do, I’m disappointed in them. But that’s about it.

Why is this? Is it because I’m a mother so I identify with the mothers more than the fathers? Is it because it’s more common for fathers in our society to be absent from their children’s lives? Is there something else I’m missing?


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